What is Sexological Bodywork?
"Sexological Bodyworkers are somatic sex educators, supporting individuals, couples and groups to learn to direct their own erotic development, learn about their bodies, sex and sexuality, or work through sexual issues or concerns."
Essentially its learning about your own body or working with any particular issues you may want to explore around how you connect with yourself and others in a sensual/sexual way. Using a selection of body awareness practices involving breath, sound, movement and touch I support and help educate people in whatever area they'd like to learn . This can be talk-only coaching/education as well as one directional (practitioner to client) hands on work. Through deepening your understanding of your own body this can lead to more confidence in not only sexual situations but how you relate to yourself and others in a wider day to day context. Straight forward and relevant information seems to be what most people missed out on in their earlier years, the practical advice that seems so desperately sought after. It can seem that stress, sensory overload and a general lack of clear, empowering sexual information is obviously accessible to people unless they actively seek it out.
What people seek and why some people choose to work with a Sexological Bodyworker:
- to talk to a neutral person about sex and their body in general
- ask questions and advice in a non judgemental environment
- they feel they didn't get adequate sex education
- to learn techniques and skills – a sense of 'there must be more to know'
- to explore and enhance pleasure
- learn self pleasure techniques
- learn to give yourself permission to have pleasure
- to become more present and connected with sensations through breath, sound, movement and touch
- learn to recognise and communicate to partners about sex and their desires
- learning to feel what you're feeling rather than thinking what you're feeling 'being in your head'
- experience more ejaculation choice and wider range of orgasm sensations
- reconnect with your body post surgery, operations, childbirth, trauma
- lack or change in confidence, performance anxiety, fear around sex
- sensation and pleasure mapping
- scar tissue remediation with organic castor oil
My 'thing' is Touch.
I have 15years of experience and qualifications in giving (also receiving!) and teaching touch in the form of a wide range of massage and sensual modalities. For me touch, massage and self pleasure are amazingly accessible tools that each one of us is gifted with. Touch is grounding and a perfect gateway into teaching and experiencing real body awareness, presence, feeling what you're feeling rather than thinking what you're feeling.
Your body, your life learning
Its never too late to learn, an investment in your own sexual education can not only revive your relationships – with your own body and those you choose to share with - but support you in an empowering and life affirming gift of self discovery.
Listening to your body
The physical act of verbalising, off loading thoughts and words can be quite powerful I am not a psychologist, counsellor or talking therapist. However, I can hold a safe neutral space where I can listen and guide you gently to help allow you to let go of the words, stories and to help you start tuning into where your body might have held onto that internal dialogue . This is done by encouraging you to feel and express your thoughts and respond to your body and responses.
Permission to have pleasure. Learning to ask for what you want.
I work with Betty Martins simple but profound consent model to help encourage you to learn to listen to your own Yes and No and learn how to communicate your yes's and no's clearly, enthusiastically and empathetically and adapt them to different contexts appropriately,
Self pleasure – better solo sex can lead to better partner sex
We don't know what we don't know, my intention is to support and help guide you with your intentions of sexual learning and practices. We cant expect someone else to always please us or know what really pleases us if we don't know ourselves.The more we learn about our own bodies we are able to come from a greater understanding and broader sensory spectrum in which to share that with those we choose. This can usually come in the form of learning, observing and practicing where and how you find pleasure in your body.
Being in your body. Being Present. Being aware.
Touch and massage can be used in so many contexts and situations to simply connect with yourself first and foremost. Engaging with your own breath, sound and movement alongside touch can help deepen a capacity to notice and explore different sensations.
Generally when our genitals have been touched its usually in a sexually stimulating (masturbation, sex with a partner) or medically examining context (doctor check ups) – to learn to have an intention of relaxing, being curious and creative about different sensations can set us gently on a path to explore new pleasures and expand our sensual and sexual potential. Engaging and learning different types of touch, breath, movement and massage techniques in a tangible, practical, relevant way can anchor us in the present. This can give us the tools to articulate and communicate what we like and what may not be as pleasurable in a moment or what we might want to change in a moment. Self knowledge practiced this way can help create and build on our own pleasure map in which to learn more about our bodies and be able to show and communicate with people we may choose to share our bodies with.
Becoming grounded in an intention of being curious and creative with touch and different massage strokes can dissolve usual worries of getting somewhere, being goal orientated, forcing or rushing pleasure, performing, timing, insecurities..
Using massage as a communication tool to show a partner different ways you might like to be touched can not only be fun but can take away the emotional baggage of; “Why didn't you show me this before?”. Massage can create a fresh new injection of playfulness, exploration and looking at your own and each others bodies in a new way that can inspire a sense of new-ness in a relaxed way where neither of you has the pressure to get it right.
The more we learn about our own bodies we can come from a greater understanding and broader sensory spectrum in which to share that with those we choose. When we exclusively depend on external stimulus eg partners, visual aids like porn, drugs, stimulants for our pleasure we can limit our own pleasure potential and sexual discovery.